Are U Always The Friend,Never The Boyfriend?

You see a woman you like, not the friendly kind of like but the ‘hello-i-want-to-share-my-life-with-you‘ kind of like. You approach this woman and everything appears to be going smooth, one thing leads to another, stuff you can not control and gbam! You are in the friend-zone. But how did you get there? Well friend, this is one question I want to address but before we go further, let us explain what the term ‘friend-zone’ means to our brothers who have no idea what it means. A certain picture I saw some time ago, I think, explains the term, vividly.

“A friend-zone is a state where she sees you as a non-sexual entity, something like her brother or a lamp.“

I believe this definition is quite explanatory and if you still don’t understand what a friend-zone is after reading that simple and short narration, I would say, with utmost humility and shock, “you need deliverance.” No offense sha.

Moving on, I did say I would try and explain to you in the simplest of language, why men get into one of men’s most dreaded zones- the friend-zone.

Every time I write about relationships and women, there is one point I keep hitting on- Women are wired emotionally, they act on how they feel. This point hugely contributes to the reason why u are in the friend-zone. It is like this, a woman automatically likes you when you make her feel good but it is how you make her feel good that determines whether you would be friend-zoned or not.

Women are sensitive, it is their talent, they can perceive things far more than men can. A woman can tell within seconds of meeting somebody new of they are fake or not. With that being said, here is the reason yu are in the friend-zone, you met a good-looking woman, made her feel good about herself which she liked very much but somewhere along the line, she discovered you were not being real with her and so to protect her self and at the same time not loose you, she friend-zoned you, you get?

Now the question is, ‘How were you not real with her?’

There is one abstract thing women really want in a man but would never admit it- Realness, which is your offense….you gave her your attention which she certainly wants but you were not real. Giving a woman your attention and being real should go hand-in-hand, especially if you are just knowing each other. Your offense is you became nice too soon, you were trying too much to impress her, trying too hard to get her attention. Here is a shocking but obvious truth; Women test men every time. Yes! She does or you honestly believe that those times she asked you to send her airtime, she did not have any other way to get it? Or that period where she just met you and you guys were out and she said a casual “I’m hungry”, she was really so hungry that she was too weak to go home and find her self something to it? Huh?

My point exactly, she was testing you. A typical woman has lots of men struggling for her attention and the only way she can choose between these men is to subconsciously ‘test’ them, and anyone she succeeds in manipulating obviously gets friend-zoned, that is just how it works.

No, I am not saying you should not send a woman airtime, pay for her meals or other nice stuff, what I am saying is you should not try to impress her too much. Let her be the one to try to impress you. Do nice stuff for her only after you discover she’s earned it….give her opportunities to earn it. The best way to compete with a lot of men struggling for her attention is not to compete with them. Compete but not with them, compete with her instead, you get?

It is quite unoriginal for you to just meet a woman and in minutes or days, you already think she deserves nice stuff- that is just plain fakeness and that my dear friend is why you got friend-zoned.

Who Really Owns a Man, A Wife or A Mother?

Who owns a man.....His mother or His wife?

IN ARGUMENT BETWEEN A MAN'S MOTHER AND THE MAN'S WIFE.

Mother....... my son must obey me unless he didn't suck my breast for 1year,

Wife......... he sucks mine now & sucked it for more dan 5yrs and he is still sucking.

Mother..........I carried him for nine months.

Wife........ he was only 3.5kg den, so whats the big deal?......I carry him every night and he is 85kg now.

Mother.......he passed between my legs.

Wife...... he only passed there once....., he stays in-between my legs like everyday

Mother.......he pees on my body and bed-wet my foam every night

Wife...... Hahaha,.....that was long ago when he was still a kid.........now he is adult and he pees inside me and bed-wet my honeypot any time he want..not at night alone but any time and any where he wishes.

Please people.... WHO OWNS A MAN?

Kindly leave a comment below.

11 Things Men Care About Than " I Love You"

 They say Actions speak louder.....

You must have heard it before that Men are visual, women are verbal. Men are impulsive, women like to analyze things. Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. So since husband and wife are opposite in many ways, it makes sense that male and female hearts swell for different reasons.

While you most likely smile when your companion says, “I love you,” those same three strong words from you may not do much for him. Here are Eleven gestures that shows you care and why they’re more meaningful to the man in your life.
 
1. His favorite meal
That old adage is true: “The best way to a man’s heart may be through his belly,” says Dr. Dow. “Knowing what he likes to eat without having to ask him demonstrates how well you know him. And the couples I’ve treated who know small details about each other have the happiest marriages.”

But maybe your husband likes everything you make! In that case, try breaking out the pumpkin pie. Research by Alan Hirsch, PhD, of the Smell & Taste Research Foundation in Chicago has shown that that sweet scent arouses men more than other aromas.



2.Your undivided attention
“When the male brain sees you checking your iPhone during dinner, it interprets that as ‘I’m not important,’” says marriage therapist Mike Dow, PsyD. That’s because men’s brains evolved to do one thing at a time while filtering out all other stimuli, he explains.

Even though women function differently (you know firsthand how well you multitask), your man will appreciate you focusing solely on him. “It says, ‘You are my priority, and I love you,” adds Dr. Dow. So make eye contact while he’s talking and limit interruptions.

 3. Taking care of yourself
Shedding stress, eating right, exercising, quitting smoking and even pampering yourself may sound like treats for you, but they’re also ways to show you love him.

“This communicates, ‘I want to have a long, wonderful life with you, and I’ll do whatever it takes to prevent you from experiencing the grief of losing someone,’” says Dr. Dow. What better motivation is there to get healthy?

4. Wearing that dress he loves you in
Dolling up sends the message that you still want to look good for him, no matter how long you’ve been together. “Men’s brains are wired to respond to visual cues more than women’s brains,” says Dr. Dow. “Seeing you in that sexy dress shows him you desire him.”
And a scarlet number may work best. A study by researchers at the University of Rochester in New York found that ladies in red are an aphrodisiac to men.

5. Complimenting him
Throughout time, men have had to fight and provide to attract and keep women—and they aren’t afraid to pull out the masculinity measuring sticks when potential competitors come around. Let your husband know you think of him the way he’d love to be seen: as a provider, problem-solver, handyman, sex stud and knight in shining armor.
“Genuine compliments on his looks and strength confirm that you admire him, which equates to love,” says clinical psychologist Andra Brosh, PhD. When he pops the lid on the jam jar with ease, mention that you enjoy having such a strong man around. He’ll beam—and chalk it up as a reason you chose him over all those other guys.

6. Encouraging him to take time for himself
While you may not hesitate to ask for you time, your husband may have trouble verbalizing what he needs. Occasionally, suggest he take a day to relax with friends, play video games, work on the car or just sleep in.

“This shows support and allows him the freedom to do what he needs to be his best self,” says Dr. Brosh. Your husband will see hassle-free, worry-free, chore-free time as a loving reward.

7. Asking his advice
Your man wants to feel like an important part of your world. On top of that, he’s a hard-wired problem-solver. Ask for his opinion on how to approach the boss for a raise, and you prove you trust and value his judgment.
“When a man can fix something, he feels competent and useful,” says Dr. Brosh.
“Asking for advice shows that you rely on him and that there’s a place for him in your life. Need, dependency and love go hand in hand.”

8. Thanking him for the little things
Next time your husband drives the kids to school or takes out the trash, express your gratitude. “We’re rushing through life, we forget to notice the good deeds and guys forget to say what they need from you, but they have feelings, too.
So say, ‘I really appreciate that,’” says licensed marriage and family therapist Carin Goldstein, creator of BetheSmartWife.com. Giving thanks will improve his attitude and infuse your relationship with a feel-good energy.

9. A lengthy hug
Instead of a quick peck before running out the door, choose a lingering embrace. “While women connect verbally, men connect more through touch,” says Goldstein. “Hug for at least seven seconds. It’s a long time, but there’s something about that number where the hold ends up really giving him something.” And there’s no doubt you’ll like it, too.

10. A quickie
Making love for an hour is nice, but once in a while, made love for just a few minutes, suggests Dr. Dow. Although women get that loving feeling with a rise in oxytocin (what you release during that post-coital cuddling session), men feel it with an increase in dopamine, the chemical they release during sex which stimulates the mental pleasure-and-reward center, explains Dr. Dow.
“I hope that most of the time, your lovemaking is full of foreplay and romance. But other times, just made love.”

11. Letting him vent
The latest office drama or family fight plays on his emotions more than he’d like to let on. So create a safe space for your guy to let his walls down. “Listen to his worries or problems without trying to fix them,” advises Dr. Brosh. “It shows him you don’t deem him weak or inadequate and affords him a place in the relationship to share that part of his life. Moreover, it shows you care.” If he comes home from work in a bad mood, ask him if he wants to let it out. If not, that’s fine—but he may need a prod to open the floodgates.

END THE RELATIONSHIP ASAP!

I have always known and once again come to realize (after various attempts) that having a relationship is hard work and requires patience. Every relationship has its ups and down. There is a thin line between staying in a relationship to work things out and being stupid.

It’s important to clearly understand our needs in a relationship and qualities in a mate. Be absolutely honest with yourself and don’t compromising the qualities that are essential to you. What typically happens when we find a quality, which deeply matters to us, is missing in our partner, we think that they can be changed.

Truth is, we can’t make people change we can only change ourselves. Small things will magnify with time. Be conscious of these small things and be honest with yourself. Understand your needs and be true to yourself. Don't let him/her put you under any unnecessary pressure cos,we only have a set amount of time in this life, make it matter.

Here are some reasons I believe you should put an end to a relationship. I decided not to be biased towards any sex during the writing of this post.

1. No Privacy
Your partner monitors messages and e-mails, whenever you receive phone calls or chatting with friends on phone (s)he is always trying to know who you were talking to. You literally have to lock yourself up in the toilet to pick up calls. End that relationship!!! Before you know it (s)he will ask you to put your phone on speaker and starts deleting messages and e-mails (s)he feels are not important. Find someone who is loving and caring not a control freak.

2. Interference With Other Relationships
When your partner hangs out with their friends it is ok, but when you decide to hang out your friends it becomes a big deal. (S)he throws tantrums like a child and blackmails you emotionally. When you wave aside the blackmails and hang out with your friends, when you come back, there is some sort of “punishment” for leaving him/her alone. End that relationship!!! It starts that way and before you know it (s)he wants you to place them before your family. Find someone who enjoys being with most of the people you care about. If not, your relationship will be full of frustration.

3. Your Personal Life Is No Longer Personal
You are out with your friends and your partner suddenly blurts out ” (s)he cries when (s)he has an orgasm” and when you try to call him/her on it he/she simply tells you it was just to make the conversation amusing and you are too sensitive.
Whether you’re humiliated or not, as long as he/she thinks your personal life would make conversations amusing, end that relationship!! Find someone who wants you to be happy and confident about yourself and your life.

4. Cannot Let Go Of The Past
We have all experienced disappointment in life, but we try as much as possible to get over it and move on with our lives. Even in relationships we have to let go of those who have hurt us.
If your partner keeps on talking about his/her ex, takes you to places the ex took him/her to, hoping to run into the ex, or (s)he sometimes calls you the ex’s name, end that relationship!!!! You do not want to be with someone who is thinking of someone else half the time (s)he is with you. Find someone who is ready to build a relationship,future and home with you rather than someone trying to use you to get to his/her ex.

5. Abuse
No one deserves to be abused. Whether it is physical,mental or emotional, (s)he has no reason to subject you to that. When in love it is very easy to justify and explain your partner’s behaviour but you deserve better treatment from him/her if (s)he wants to be with you. End that relationship. Find someone who knows your worth and respects you.

You are probably nodding your head as you are going through one or more of the above.The above listed are my own opinions and perception for putting and end to a relationship that is   If so, maybe it is time for you to make a change. I would never try to break a relationship, but if this post has made you take a long look at your relationship, then were you really happy to begin with??

I Hate Sex!

Jumobi from Ilorin,Nigeria Needs Our Opinions

My first sexual encounter was with a fellow girl. No, i am not a Lesbian, contrary to what you might think as you read this. I was 14 years old, what did i know? I let her kiss me. Then i let her fondle my breasts. I fondled hers too. I liked it. Then as time went on, she began to say things like “I love you”  “I miss you”  “I can’t do without you”  that was when i knew there was trouble. We stopped talking to each other. Did i like boys? Hell yeah!

I am not inclining that i am Bi-sexually oriented either, no that’s not what i mean. I have always liked boys.
My first real sexual experience was with my boyfriend at 19. I heard so much about sex prior to that and watched a lot of “Blue Film” at the time. Needless to say, everything did not check out in reality when i finally had sex.

It was the most painful, annoying experience ever and i just hated it.

The part where he kissed and sucked on me down there felt very good. So every time after that, i found solace in the outpouring of emotions and the tenderness that i felt from him giving me oral stimulation in every form.


It began to feel like every time we had sex all i wanted was some good head, then I’d pretend to enjoy it while he made love to me. Then we broke up! And it was another boyfriend after that and then another. Yet the same “What-is-really-going-on-here” Sexual experience.

Here’s what happens:
-It starts off great at first
-I love the feel of his man organ in my vagina..that’s when it starts
-Then i quickly become dry down there and lubrication becomes so difficult, then it gets painful
-From here on, i just zero my mind on whats happening and drift off into my own thoughts waiting for it to be over..all the time moaning absentmindedly while he humps and grinds my wells.

At this point i ask you please, Do i have a Problem or do i just hate sex?

3 months ago, i was with my friend at a restaurant having dinner when she began to caress my leg with hers from beneath the table. I looked up at her and she winked at me. I immediately felt a rush of blood vibrate through my body. She signaled for me to join her in the rest room which i did without hesitation.

We had barely even closed the door when she pushed me against the wall and began to kiss me. I kissed her back, hurriedly, in absolute excitement as my Vagina burst into floods of juices between my legs. She reached for it, gliding her fingers into me effortlessly. It felt so good i could barely stand straight against the wall.

She did it with every care in the world, touching the right spots i didn’t even know existed.
This quick encounter ended just as quickly as it began, it was shorter than my full sex experiences with men but i would remember it forever!

Now again, i ask, Do i hate sex or do i just hate sex with men?

Please Advise me!

You can kindly drop your comment below.

Thank You!

Does Love Change?

Love, the golden word that binds all and heals all.

Love, just a bit of it would make the world a better place.

Love, that sweet poison which makes us do crazy meaningless things.

Ever seen a full grown man breakdown in public and shed oceans of tears, uncontrollably, without shame, bereft of remorse.
Have you ever lost the desire to eat, sleep, or even keep living over the loss(breakup) of a loved one?
Love, something so special, so divine, so sanguine, damn near perfect.

God’s greatest gift to man(more so evident in the sacrifice of his only son) In the past, I used to have a witty and somewhat realistic definition of love; ‘A four letter word that guys use to get into girls’ pants’.

I used to resist and fight love, and even the urge to fall in love. I was so certain of this naive assumption that i flaunted it about with careless abandon to whomever cared to pay attention, until nature had its way with me. I fell in love with a beautiful and extremely appealing girl and we didn’t make love until 1year after we started dating (Laffs, i wasn’t slow nor impotent). I was deeply in love and i was willing to wait till she was ready emotionally, physically and psychologically.

Obviously this experience changed my rebellious view on love, it killed the fight in me and sent me falling, crashing in love, never to rise again. Why then should something this beautiful, pure, and selfless change?
Maybe it is subject to the ever constant ‘change’ or the forever present ‘law of gravity’.

Does love really change?
I think it does, for me at least, and every other man I know. Anyone who has ever been in a love steeped relationship(the exemption of friends with benefits) must and will have experienced the highs and lows of love.

There are periods when the feeling of love is so intense, so thick, so strong, that we(guys) would see an extremely endowed woman with a big buttocks the size of Omotola Jolade and you won’t even give her a second look. That is love at its best, highest, purest peak. There are times when it(love) is so low you would wonder “what the heck am I doing with her”. At that point, all her previously caring flaws will be magnified in your eyes.

Love certainly has different levels of intensity and it would only be hypocritical and unrealistic of us to deny this, consequently and unconsciously telling the young ones that it is forever a blissful phenomenon, nah, not possible. There is Desire love and true love.

Desire love might not fluctuate, might not waiver, might even never bicker, but trust me, it is fickle deep down and can’t last, never.

True love on the other hand is sometimes sweet, sometimes sad, sometimes fraught with ups and downs, but at the end of the day, you know you have something real, worth fighting for.

Love tends to change over weeks, months, and years. Basically, over time. Even in one day or an hour, love can and does fluctuate.

Tell me you’ve never been with your partner for about a couple of hours and not felt bored and indifferent at some point, hell, even tired of them.

You’re nodding, yeah , that’s it, that’s the fluctuation. The change s does not mean that love disappears from the relationship. It is natural for love to fluctuate from time to time in human relationships, whether we want it or not, like it or not.

Some people say if love fluctuates,  it never was love,  but I say , if love doesn’t chnage, doesn’t waiver,
 how do you test its limit?, its depth?, its validity?, How do you?

My friends, the moment you realize that love fluctuates in relationships, the better equipped you will be, relationship-wise.

Let me have your views on this.

Burn Your Belly Fat Fast

It is common this days in Nigeria and around the world amongst the ladies saying that "Oh my God,I have Added more flesh..i want to lose weight" "gosh, why is my belly getting bigger and bigger when I'm not pregnant".

But,let the truth be told...How many of them can actually exercise or do rope skipping for at least 30mins in a day? So i took it upon myself to do some researches on the internet.

When it comes to weight loss, it seems that the odds are stacked against women. They naturally have more body fat than men for childbearing reasons -- to help ensure the survival of their offspring -- and because their metabolism is slower.

As women grow older, the proportion of fat to body weight has a tendency to increase more than it does in men. Heredity, hormonal imbalances, and menopause also contribute to fat gain. During menopause, the fat tends to migrate from the hips and thighs to the midsection, as the ratio of fat to lean tissue shifts, causing fat to be stored in the upper body.

report also suggests that women who are not overweight but are vulnerable to the effects of stress are more likely to store more fat in the midsection.

Having extra fat in your midsection results in an apple-shaped body. A protruding tummy makes certain clothes look unflattering and can cause a lot of frustration and low self-esteem.

But more than just to look good on the outside, you should strive to achieve belly fat loss because of the health risks associated with having belly fat, also known as abdominal fat or visceral fat. Abdominal fat is associated with a number of health conditions because it can encase vital organs like your heart and liver and impair their daily functions. Having a waistline larger than 35 inches significantly increases your risk of diabetes and heart disease, the National Institutes of Health warns.

 Belly fat is actually the most dangerous type of fat – besides aesthetics, large waist lines are indicators of –disease-disease-disease.
It takes more than just crunches! We start to gain weight in our midsection when our cortisol levels spike. Stress is one of the primary culprits for high levels of cortisol secretion. When this happens cortisol breaks downs lean muscle (the type of tissue that burns calories most efficiently) and also holds on to fat storage in the abdominal region. That stress can even get WORSE with bad dieting; studies show that the stress caused by dieting can increase cortisol levels, making no change in belly fat even with calorie restriction. So how do you shape up? Incorporate these following things below and you will be on your way to a flatter belly in no
time flat!

1. Sleep
If you want to work late at night, think again. When your biorhythms are off, you end up eating more. When you’re tired you produce more ghrelin, which triggers cravings for sugar and other fat-building foods. Losing sleep can also alter your hormone production, affecting your cortisol levels that cause insulin sensitivity, prime reasons for belly fat! Getting about 7 hours of sleep a night is one of the best things you can do for your body shaping goals.
2. Short bursts of exercises
1000 crunches a night may get you strong abdominal muscles, but with a full layer of fat on top, you will not get the results you really want. Instead of all those crunches, do exercises that engage multiple muscle groups and work your cardiovascular system. Try planking, where you hold yourself in a push-up position, resting your forearms on the ground. Try 3 or 4 sets of holding for 30 seconds each. Getting up and moving throughout the day by going for walks on weekends.
3. Sugar is your Enemy
Fighting belly fat is 80% healthy diet. Reduce calories by filling yourself up with protein, vegetables, whole grains, and replacing bad habit snacks with good ones. For example, if you have a sugar craving, replace your calorie laden latte with a Muscle Milk lite, one of my favorites, because it has zero sugar and a ton of protein that will satiate while also torching my sugar craving! Another great trick is a sprinkle of cinnamon in your morning coffee or oatmeal- the spice has been shown to help stabilize blood sugar. It also slows the rate at which food exits the stomach, which helps you feel fuller longer.
4. Vitamin C
When you’re under extreme stress, you secret more cortisol hormone. Vitamin C helps balance the cortisol spikes that happen to you under this stress. Besides being a good way to counteract a cold, Vitamin C is also essential for making carnitine, a compound used by the body to turn fat into fuel, making this vitamin your fat burning friend.
If you’re going through an emotional crisis, stress from work, or a bad eating splurge, increase your vitamin C – it’ll help counteract the negative side effects. Try bell peppers, kale or kiwi fruits. These have even more Vitamin C than the famous Orange!
5. Eat Watermelon
The amino acid arginine, abundant in watermelon, might promote weight loss, according to the Journal of Nutrition. In a laboratory study, adding this amino acid to the diet of obese mice enhanced the oxidation of fat and glucose. Snack on watermelon and other arginine sources, such as seafood, nuts, and seeds, year-round.
6. Stay Hydrated
All of your body's chemical reactions, including your metabolism, depend on water. If you are dehydrated, you may be burning up to 2 percent fewer calories, according to researchers at the University of Utah. Drink at least eight to twelve 8-ounce glasses a day.
7. Slowing down your breath
This is a very simple method that you can use even when you’re in the midst of doing something else. Whenever you notice you’re feeling tense and uptight check and see how you’re breathing. Most people under stress either alternate holding their breath with short breaths, or take rapid shallow breaths. After you become aware of your own breathing, consciously relax your belly and slow down the breathing. This works best if you focus on slowing down the exhalation rather than your inhalation. With each exhalation you can say to yourself “slow down”. That is all there is to it- Simple but surprisingly effective!!!

I hope the above listed tips will help.